When you decided to keep your feeling and realized that they're never yours. Poetry Analysis (Between the Moon and You)

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In high school, emotions are intense and fleeting. It's a time when feelings can bloom easily, but the reality of them can also fade just as fast. I wrote this poem when I was in 12th grade, reflecting on a time when I thought I could grow closer to a guy I had a special connection with. I was full of hope, thinking maybe something more could develop between us. But over time, I realized something about the way he treated me and other girls too. In the end, I had to ask myself, was I just one of many? That realization made me step back and let go of those feelings, and now, looking back, I can smile at the simplicity of it all. No love, no worries,  just living life and enjoying the ride.

Between the Moon and You

By Uni Sonia Yulianti

Before the morning, I see the moon,

A quiet smile upon my lips as I write this tune.

Pouring out all that I know of you,

Unaware that I’ve become a fool.

Because of you, this page is filled,

Because of you, my hand remains still,

Yet restless, I don’t want to sleep,

Though my eyes grow heavy, my thoughts too deep.

I’m torn, unsure of what to do,

Should I chase you down, or just wait for you?

A fear lingers in my heart,

If you wander too close to where the red starts.

Come sit beside me,

As strangers, but entwined by this mystery.

Ignore the whispers, the shallow gaze,

For in the end, they’ll all fade away.

ANALYSIS OF THE POEM

"Before the morning, I see the moon,

A quiet smile upon my lips as I write this tune.

Pouring out all that I know of you,

Unaware that I’ve become a fool."

The speaker begins by describing a serene moment before dawn, where the moon provides a sense of calm. The "quiet smile" and "writing this tune" suggest that the speaker is reflecting on their feelings for someone, pouring their thoughts and emotions into words. The phrase "I’ve become a fool" introduces self-awareness, as the speaker realizes that their emotional involvement may have made them act foolishly. This implies a sense of vulnerability and possible regret, but it also shows how deeply the speaker is moved by the other person.

"Because of you, this page is filled,

Because of you, my hand remains still,

Yet restless, I don’t want to sleep,

Though my eyes grow heavy, my thoughts too deep."

In this stanza, the speaker reflects on how much the other person occupies their mind. The act of writing is directly inspired by the other person, this person is the reason the page is filled with words. Despite physical tiredness ("eyes grow heavy"), the speaker feels emotionally restless, unable to sleep. Their mind is consumed with thoughts of the other person. This indicates a passionate emotional engagement, where thoughts and feelings are so overwhelming that they prevent rest.

"I’m torn, unsure of what to do,

Should I chase you down, or just wait for you?

A fear lingers in my heart,

If you wander too close to where the red starts."

The speaker reveals a deep internal conflict. They are unsure whether to actively pursue the other person ("chase you down") or wait for them to make the first move ("just wait for you"). This indecision highlights the speaker’s vulnerability and fear of making the wrong choice. The line "where the red starts" likely symbolizes danger, emotional risk, or potential heartache. This imagery suggests the speaker's fear of getting too close to something that could bring pain or consequences.

"Come sit beside me,

As strangers, but entwined by this mystery.

Ignore the whispers, the shallow gaze,

For in the end, they’ll all fade away."

In the final stanza, the speaker invites the person to sit beside them, proposing a connection that feels both intimate and distant ("as strangers"). The "mystery" between them suggests an unspoken bond or tension that exists between the two. The speaker advises ignoring external judgment ("the whispers, the shallow gaze"), suggesting that the opinions of others are fleeting and insignificant. There is an underlying message that what truly matters is the personal connection, which will outlast external negativity.

Themes in Context

• Love and Longing: The poem revolves around deep emotional engagement, as the speaker reflects on their feelings for the other person. The act of writing and staying awake late symbolizes a profound connection that occupies the speaker’s mind.

• Emotional Conflict: Throughout the poem, the speaker grapples with uncertainty and indecision. They are torn between pursuing their feelings or holding back, demonstrating the inner conflict that often accompanies love or desire.

• Fear of Rejection and Heartache: The mention of "red" in the third stanza suggests that the speaker fears the potential consequences of getting too close, whether that means emotional pain or rejection. The speaker is afraid of crossing an invisible line that might lead to heartbreak.

• External Judgment vs. Internal Connection: The final stanza addresses the impact of outside opinions. The speaker urges the other person to ignore the judgment and instead focus on the unique connection between them. The poem suggests that true connection transcends external perceptions.

Tone

• Reflective and Tender (First and Second Stanza): The tone at the beginning is calm and introspective. The speaker is quietly contemplating their feelings, writing to express their inner thoughts. There is a sense of vulnerability and self-awareness as the speaker reflects on how their emotions have led them to act in ways they might consider foolish.

• Anxious and Torn (Third Stanza): The tone shifts to one of uncertainty and fear. The speaker is torn between action and inaction, unsure of how to proceed with their feelings. The fear of emotional risk adds a layer of anxiety to the tone, reflecting the inner turmoil of the speaker.

• Inviting and Reassuring (Fourth Stanza): The tone becomes more inviting and comforting. The speaker extends an invitation for connection while reassuring the other person to ignore outside distractions and negativity. The final lines encourage focusing on the bond between them, suggesting a sense of peace and certainty in the relationship despite external influences.

Overall Analysis

The poem explores the complex emotional experience of longing, confusion, and fear in love. The speaker's internal conflict between pursuing their feelings or holding back is portrayed with vulnerability and hesitation. The poem also reflects the tension between external judgment and the deeper, more personal connection between the speaker and the other person. Ultimately, the speaker invites the person to embrace their bond, regardless of external opinions. The tone shifts from introspective and uncertain to inviting and reassuring, highlighting the emotional journey of the speaker from doubt to acceptance of their feelings.

Looking back at this poem, I can laugh at how serious I thought everything was at the time. Yes, I had feelings, and yes, I felt a little lonely at times, but now, I realize how freeing it is to just let go and focus on what truly matters. Right now, I'm happy without the pressure of a relationship, enjoying life on my own terms. If you're wondering whether I feel lonely because I don't have a lover? Sure, sometimes I do. But it's all part of the journey, and in the end, I’m learning to embrace it all, with or without someone by my side.